The Jerk
by Thought'sPen
Summary: Tristan has to fake being the jerk he was in his Chilton days as a twist on a The Bachlorlike TV show, and who else but Rory Gilmore is one of the 25 lucky lady contestants? RR
1. Pilot

The entire idea was absurd. I grinned lazily up at my friend Lance and nearly giggled. "A TV show? Are you nuts? What is it, the bachlor?"

"Tristan, describe yourself in an egotistic manner if you please." Lance sat down next to me and helped himself to my warmed-over pizza leftovers.

"Rich, handsome, suave." I wiggled my eyebrows up and down and grinned.

"Yes. Now, you know how hard ABC has been working to get a hit, si?"

"Si." I took my pizza back.

"This is the game show idea. Like _The Bachlor_, twenty-five women, one guy. The guy is supposed to be rich, handsome, suave, and a VERY VERY nice, polite guy."

"Ok...?"

"BUT the show is called 'The Jerk'. Meaning we pull the girls in making them think it's a show about love, romance, The Bachlor-ish. But the twist is, you are supposed to act like a total jerk. In real life you're nice and sweet and thoughtful, yadda yadda, but only the viewers know that. The twist is to see if girls can see past the fact you're rich, handsome, on TV into the personality you're faking as a jerk. That's the plot."

"Why me?"

"In military school you cleaned up. Right?"

"Dude, that was high school, I'm 23!"

"Yes, but you tell me stories about your Chilton days, you WERE the Jerk!"

"Yeah, so?"

"You're too perfect to let slide thought ABC's fingers man!"

"See what happens when I make friends with people who work with TV?" I finished the crust of the pizza and gave him a sidelong look. "You know my family is upper class, the whole community will be tuning in!"

"Tuning it to see if women are deep enough to see past the looks and money to see you act like a jerk. The point is, be a jerk, but find a girl you want to fall in love with. See if SHE'LL look past it all!"

The concept was interesting. I all ready knew from high school the majority of girls couldn't see past a smirk, red Viper, and limitless cash to hear the degrading comment. Most were only to willing to go out with me.

The idea was too intriging for me to pass up. I ran my fingers through my hair and smirked up at him. "I get to be the jerk again, huh?"

He grinned. "Sign on the dotted line my friend."

* * *

"Hey Rory, what have you wanted more than anything in the world." Lorelai bounced into the room and jumped onto the couch next to Rory.

"_Sense and Sesibility _signed by Jane Austin."

"..besides that."

"A million dollars."

"And that."

"The fifth dentist to cave in and recommend Trident."

"Let's go with _my _wish of anything in the world."

"To be on TV."

"Ba-ding! She wins!"

"So?" Rory shut her book slightly.

"Eligible girls between 21-27 for this new tv series on ABC! Find true love. And this guy is rich, handsome, and incredibly, incredibly-"

"Wh-wh-at? Mommy dearest, wishful thinking, but you're not between 21 and 27."

Lorelai stopped short and a gleam of slyness glazed over her eyes. "I knooowww, buuuut"

"No."

"Rory! You'll be on _TV_."

"So are America's Most Wanted!"

"But you don't get your name, age, and occupation in pretty lettering along the bottom of the TV if you do it that wa-aay!!"

"Oh, champion whiner. Only _you _could make 'way' a two syllable word."

"And only champion pastors can made God a two letter word. Goo-Od." Lorelai beamed. "So? What do you say? We can have fun! You love filling our applications! We can fillit out together!"

"Mom! There is a difference between a college application and-" She snatched the paper away from her mother, "-and what is your favorite color."

"Blue!" Lorelai clicked the top of her pen insistantly.

"Mom, you're so kidding me."

"Please! I want to see my daughter on TV!"

"Do you know how many girls try out for these shows?"

"Then filling this application out for me shouldn't be too big of a problem."

Rory sighed. "No! I have better things to do than fill that thing out!"

"I all ready filled it out!"

"What!"

"I know you like myself anyway."

"You're kidding"

"Sign on the dotted line my friend."

* * *

**Short beginning chapter, but I'll bet everyone figuered out that Rory will make it on the show and she'll meet up with Tristan again. I know it sounds like a complete cliche, but "The Jerk" plotlinetwist will make contestant Rory see Tristan as she was at Chilton, _the jerk_.**

**R/R if I should continue!**

**-Thought's Pen**


	2. Mary?

**Authors Note: Jewls13 suggested I not make Tristan's part in first person b/c it's distracting and when I actually thought about itI decided that with the different things I planned having to happen in the story that'sprobably a good idea, so everyone is in second person. Thanks Jewls13!**_

* * *

_

_Mom, I will kill you_.

Rory mentally wrote the death note in her mind as she sat in the limo. Being the methodical girl she was, she methodically made a list of complaints.

For one, she was wearing a white strapless gown that ABC provided.

For two, her hair wasn't up and pretty like contestant number 4, it was curled around her shoulders like a barbie doll when you take their ponitail down for the first time in five years.

For three, the limo smelled funny.

For four, there was a camera guy who smelled, no, it wasn't the limo that smelled, it _was _the camera guy. A camera guy with fake hair. Oh, it was much too obvious that the hair was fake.

"Ok. We'll get to the walk way, step out of the limo, pause for the camera to take you in, then walk foward and greet the guy." Grease-y fake hair informed her.

"You told me twice." She replied irratably.

"He's not going to fall in love with you if you're snappy." He retorted.

Rory paused, struck with the novel concept. _Wait, if I'm rude...he'll kick me out first round and I won't have to deal with this! No one remembers the first show cuts anyway!_

She smiled, almost slyly. She'd back back at her mother. _Ha_.

* * *

He stood in front of the grand mansion he'd live in for all of filming. He'd all ready met five girls. _Dang,she was fiiiine_. I didn't exactly want to be here, but things were looking up. And the best part was, He got to be a jerk! How cool is that! Where you get to be a jerk, and say all those impolite comments and there was no whiplash! 

The sixth limo pulled up. It's so obvious they only have three limos and they keep taking them around to pick each of the twenty five girls up.

The black gleamed against the porch lights and it pulled to a rolling stop, the door opened.He made sure to have a cocky smirk. One that he'd practically trade-marked at Chilton.

The limo's door opened slowly. Tristan pushed his hair back...and watched a white dress slide out and she pushed hair pushed out of her own face. She tripped slightly, pushing her hair back again. _Haha, what a..._His breath caught. Hadn't they said he'd be meeting all these girls for the first time? How could...

_Mary_.

* * *

Rory smirked slyly to herself as she nearly tripped getting out of the car. No man liked a clumsy woman. She pushed her hair out of her face and looked up. Her eyes locked on the guy and she nearly passed out. 

The touseled hair, the infamous smirk, the perfect stance of suave intuition...

Tristan DuGrey, in the flesh, stood before her. She hadn't seen him, since...since, since...A million thoughts should have been racing through her heads, commentary of a million lives. Instead ofa pounding thumping typical of a shock, an ebbing emotion throbbed through her head. A dormant feeling awoke.

She felt like she was in high school again watching Tristan stroll by with a flavor of the week on one side, and his posse of groupies on the other.

_Bible boy_.

She straitened and walked toward him, cameras poised at them as they became part of the same camera frame.

"Hi, I'm Rory." She forced her hand out, a handshake contrary to the usual hug and peck on the cheek.

He took her hand lightly and shook it. "Tristan. Glad you're here."

"Good to be here."

"Thanks for coming Mary." His electric blue eyes pierced her teasingly.

_The immature son of a gun hasn't grown up yet. _"That was Rory." She corrected.

"Right."

She took a step back, careful not to look at the camera. "I'll see you inside."

"I look foward to it."

"Right." She practically mimicked him as she started into the mansion.

* * *

Tristan looked after her, unsure. For one, he was shocked she was here. He hadn't seen her since Romeo and Juliet at Chilton. And second, the way she carried herself as she walked over to him. She stood tall, her back strait, her eyes meeting his without the blushing flickerance he'd been used to.

_She thinks I'm the jerk I was in high school..._

* * *

**Slow and steady always wins the race. No worries, chapters get longer,faster, andwith more content, but the slowness is always more fun:)**

**-Thought's Pen**


	3. You're Up To Bat, Princess

Rory sat still, holding a flute of champagne in one hand, and smoothing the napkin on her lap with the other. Her fingers were sweaty and brushing invisible creases was the most subtle way to rid the clammy moistness. Twenty four other girls swirled around her in their evening gowns, either talking among themselves, some too loudly, or watching the French doors that Tristan DuGrey would enter at any moment.

She took a few calming breaths. He was by far, the last person she expected to see there. _Don't the producers screen the guys to find a _nice _guy, how in the world did they get a guy like Tristan? _She smirked mirthlessly _This is just the ego push a guy like him needs. _

Rory glanced over where a girl in a tight red evening dress was sucking in her stomach to make her stomach appear flatter and chest bigger. She was moving her lips to form words, but remained soundless. She was obviously practicing pre-packaged responses and witty lines.

"Ladies."

Biff Granger, the host of the show, came in. His suit was rumpled on the shoulders from the sitcom-expected hug he'd shared with Tristan before coming in.

She rose with everyone else and walked to the edge of the group.

"Tristan will be in here for a second and you have till _nine o'clock_ to meet him. He'll be taking every single one of you aside for a minimal of ten minutes. During those ten minutes, no interruptions right? Mingle among yourselves during that time. The cameras are set up around the rooms, and camera men are walking around as well. Ignore them, in fact, it'd be best if you didn't ever look directly into the lens. It makes for a better shot. If interviews ask you questions and opinions just look at the interviewee and answer the questions as truthfully as possible." He clasped his hands in front of his waist. "Any questions?"

No one replied.

"And now." Biff looked directly at the camera. "Tristan?"

The French doors opened, he opened them both, giving himself a double door entrance. An amused smirk played his features and his hair was flawlessly brushed around for the carefully spontaneous look. His crystal blue eyes saw far and deep in a way that didn't fit his strut.

* * *

Tristan glanced around the foyer / great room the girls waited in. He surveyed their eager glances, brushing over some of the most attractive ladies he'd ever seen all in one area. His eyes rested on a few, but stopped heavily on Rory Gilmore.

The one that got away.

Endless days in military school had flattened the grating ego that created used to friction between anyone else he'd ever meet. The "humble" him that emerged from his academy in North Carolina was nothing like the playa that had left Chilton. He'd never expected to see Rory again, he'd thought of her a few times. The self respect in her had made her admirable.

"Ready, Tristan?" Biff clapped his on the back, the ultimate sign of comradery. "You're going to be quite the playa tonight."

"Don't hate the player..." Tristan clapped his hands together and gave his audience a sparkling grin. "...Hate the game."

Tristan walked a few steps forward, the easiness and suaveness of his Chilton days returned almost too easily.

He was supposed to pull aside every girl at one time or another during the evening. They'd all be giving their best first impression and by the end of the night he'd cut ten girls. Excuse me, _keep _fifteen. No one would be _cut._ He smirked at ABC's logic.

He knew at least one girl who wouldn't be cut.

"I'm Emily." A girl in a high neck halter top of startling blue suddenly took his hand eagerly.

"Emily, glad you're here." He said politely, but distantly. Being raised to accept handshakes with warmth, it was hardly easy to make his handshake limp and apathetic.

"I'm very glad to be here."

"Take a walk then?" He gestured to the veranda where the pool, set up to look like a woodland swimming hole, had a rock inlayed path.

"I'd love to!" She was obviously more than happy to be the first 'date-ee'.

He slid his arm around her waist in a too-foward manner some girls would hate. 'The Jerk' was his character, and in character he would stay. "Tell me about yourself." He said as they came out.

"Well." She fluffed her breezy blonde hair. "I was a Dallas cheerleader for a few years..."

"Really? I was going to buy the Dallas football team." It was a blantant lie, but one thing Tristan fully knew about jerks was that their favorite sound was their own voice.

"Really?" She squeaked, unannoyed at the interruption.

"Oh yeah."

_This is almost too easy_.

* * *

_This is almost too easy._

Of course Tristan was going to cut her first time around. He was going to be a player the whole 'game' of a show and if she could be stick in the muddish for the whole ten minutes he'd pick some other twenty something siren to take her place as the fifteen staying the night in this mansion.

Rory pretended to sip the champagne again. It was nasty bubbly stuff, expensive, but not nearly as good as an icy coke or a thick smoothie. The frosty glitter of the silver pixie dust embroidering along the top of the dress reflected in the chandelier'slight. The silver orb light hung by an invisible rope from the high ceiling, making it look like it floated above the room.

Five girls had already been pulled aside. He'd take them to the closed off veranda where the poll was designed to look like it was in the middle of a fairy land forest. It was the only place the interview couldn't be spoiled by prying ears. Emily, was that her name, had been the first pulled aside. She was practically swooning on the couch. Anyone who even asked how it went in an unsubtle "give me hints, huh?" would get an ear-full of everything from his broad, _broad _shoulders to his blue, _blue _eyes. Rory did notice, with a dry irony, that nothing was ever said of his personality.

A bridal magazine was on the coffee table. It was ironic wasn't it? It was almost a tease for the set designer to put a bridal magazine on the table. Rory took the bait and picked it up. Reading gibberish was better than reading nothing.

She flipped past the advertisements to the only semi-attention holding article, which talked around arranging flowers to make them look cute. She needed tips anyway, being the best friend made her the florist for any upcoming weddings. And someday Luke and Lorelai would...she let herself drift into ideas of a step father and smiled a tad.

"And she's reading again. How novel." It was whispered.

She turned quickly where Tristan leaned over the edge of the arm chair she was sitting in.

"Excuse me...um?"

"It's Tristan." He filled her sentence in with a smirky smile.

"My mistake." She set down the magazine.

"Excuse me _Tristan_?"

"You're up to bat, Princess." He jerked his head to the veranda door.

"Oh, sure." She stood and pretended not to see his offered arm as she walked with him.

"So, where are you from?" He asked her with a little smile.

"Connecticut." She glanced where cameras followed. She knew that if they found out that they knew each other that they'd kick her off the show. Which wouldn't necessarily be a _bad _thing, but they'd make her pay for the first class flight they'd provided and the first class hotel she'd been in the past two days before shooting. It's be easier to last the next few hours and go home all-expenses paid.

Obviously he knew that too, and was going to play along. Nicest thing this jerk had ever done.

"Really? Me too, we got something in common."

"No kiddin'?" She asked dryly.

"So, what do you do?"

"I go to Yale."

"No kiddin'? You look like the kind of person who'd go to Harvard."

"Wuddya know?" She asked. It was almost funny how they werechatting about her past dreamsin this incognito way

"Wuddya know?" He smiled at her. But the smile didn't fit his personality it was too..._nice_. Rory paused, puzzled.

* * *

**Author's Note: There's the update. Read and review! I hope you guys like it!**


	4. You Gotta Live A Little

Rory sat in a semi circle with the other girls. Tristan was with his last girl, Kristen,she thoughther name was. The two would finish in a few moments, then the clock would strike nine. He was running a little late, it was 8:57 pm as it was. Then they'd sit in a circle on the couches and Mr. Tristan DuGrey would come out and select fifteen love-r-ly ladies to stay.

"I'm not sure." Diane, a tall comely siren, sat tall. "I mean, I just imagined he'd be a better _listener _you know? Want to find out about us in this ten minutes." She brightened quickly. "Maybe he got a good sense of me just from looking at me."

Rory examined Diane's model like body and smirked to herself. _The kind of sense he gets anyway_.

The veranda doors opened and Kristen and Tristan walked in. His arm was slung heavily and possessively around her shoulder and she blushed brightly.

* * *

Tristan made his entrance as he was supposed to. The easy switch from girl to girl was adding to the jerk like character he was trying to put forward. During the one on one interview he'd started before filming he'd explained his jerky past, and how he'd changed. He knew the millions of viewers didn't see him as a jerk, but becoming one for these girls was so...memory evoking. 

_Flavor of the week. _The trademark term floated lazily between his ears. He remembered names and faces from high school only vaguely. He was shamed by his old behavior now. He wanted to tell Rory that, but he couldn't. Not with these stupid cameras floating around.

Biff came out. "Tristan." He handed him a tall bottle of champagne. "Please fill the glass of fifteen women?"

All the girls were handed empty glasses, the crystal glittered marvelously in the light of the room. Tristan glanced between them. He knew a few girls he wanted to keep for sure. Rory, Kristen, Janet...um...Laura. It's _hard _to pick girls based on ten minutes of getting to know them. Technically he was supposed to be finding a girl he thought would see the jerky aspect of his character and either confront him face to face (interviews don't count) or refuse him when he tried to fill their glass for the reason he was a jerk.

But at the same time...he was supposed to be finding a girl that the "real him" could fall in love with. _ABC just wants it all, don't they?_

Tristan proceeded to move around the room slowly, keeping heavy eye contact with some of the girls he knew he was going to cut. He noticed though, Rory was staring strait ahead, avoiding any eye contact whatsoever.

Tristan gave a smirk. _High school mentality it is._

* * *

Rory felt like...like. She was at a loss for words. She held her glass limply at her side, upside down. 

The bottle...the white champagne bottle with the pale pink liquid. The bubbles floated up, popping at the surface. It was like a cobra, fascinating her, holding her interest. Beautiful and dangerous.

Tristan stepped up to her, toe to toe. He held up the bottle. "If you hold the glass light that the champagne will spill." He said lightly.

"So I'm told." She replied.

He smirked. "On the dress? White and pink?"

"Wh-" She realized what he meant. "Me?"

"Don't be too flattered, you haven't _won_." He responded.

"Don't be immature!"

He cocked an eyebrow and grinned.

Realizing the cameras, and the astonished and envious gazes of the other twenty four girls. Rory glared at Tristan. He was setting her up to look stupid on TV.

"You gonna let me pour, Mary?"

"It's Rory."

"Here." He handed her the whole bottle and reached for the other unopened one on the table. "Knock yourself out."

He uncorked the next bottle with a refreshing pop and smirked.

"I don't drink." Rory replied.

"You gotta live a little, kiddo." He poured into the glass of Diane, keeping a smoldering gaze on Rory who stood dumbly holding the full bottle of champagne.

* * *

Tristan's POV 

I couldn't believe I'd just done that! Singling Mary out like that, on national telivision! She was standing there, dumbfounded, holding the expensive beverage and an empty glass. She looked unsure what to do. I felt horrible. I wanted to take the bottle, apologize, and beg her to stay. I'd changed so very much from how she once knew me. I'm a negative of how I once was, a complete poloroid change, and I can't tell her. I can't apologize to the horrible things I did to her.

It hurt.

I couldn't help looking at her as I poured into the glass of the girl next to her. Deanna? Diane? Dinah?

Her cheeks flushed violently, her hair tumbled foward and back. _Ah Rory Gilmore, you're still the Mary I left all those years ago._

* * *

Rory's POV 

I held the bottle and the icyness numbed my fingers. I couldn't believe he'd done that. _Actually, I do believe it. He's such a jerk!_

I glanced at the cameras zooming in and panning the girls as Tristan began filling their glasses. My white dress glittered as I shifted slightly, nervously. I had been the first pick, humiliated by handing me the whole bottle and creating the wicked banter.

_How dare he not cut me! Now the jerk is just mocking me_.

"And you." Biff held up his own glass. "Are the final 15. Raise your glasses in a toast to a wonderful night."

"A wonderful night." I echoed with the other girls as I raised the whole bottle. I gave him the evilest gaze I could muster and drank directly out of the bottle. I controlled the gagging reflex of the burning alcohol pouring down my throat and clicked the bottle against Diane's glass. She eyed it slowly and smiled slightly.

"He's got a wonderful sense of humor." She whispered.

I looked at the champagne and took a longer gulp. _I'm gonna need this. _

* * *

**Authors Note: Thanx so much to all the reviewers. I read every single review! Thanx to my constant reviewers and the great people who started this story after reading my military school trory "Dealin' With It" and as some of you pointed out, yes, the title has absolutely nothing to do with the story in that one, but it actually correlates in this one, w00t!**


	5. Nite

Rory sat down on the bed. Because Tristan was so rich, each girl got her own room in the long "hotelish" hall that spanned the third (or was it fourth) story of his mansion. The room was nice, simple and elegent. A name card on her pillow said "Lorelai" in fancy calligraphy. An ornate alarm clock ticked wistfully from it's spot on the nightstand

She arranged herself on the bed and looked where a man stood with a video camera. "Ready?" He asked, aiming it calmly.

Rory nodded and looked directly into the black lens of the camera. "I met Tristan today, stepping out of the limo. His stance, his smirk, everything made him come across as a complete smug _idiot_. He just had this "I have money, I have looks, I'm on TV please throw yourself at me!". When I say that I willingly admit he's good-looking. Physically he's very attractive. But...augh. I was immidiatly repelled by everything else, especially the smirk-"

* * *

Tristan sat on the bed and bounced slightly, testing the mattress' springs. He smiled slightly at the camera, it was sheepish, the smirk was gone. 

"It was a lot easier than I thought, or hoped it would be. It was actually fun at times, I'll admit. When I met the girls none of them seemed turned off in the least way about the smirk I had...I was kind of disappointed by that. Out of the twenty-five ladies, only the fifth, or was it sixth? Mary-Rory-Gilmore. I'm probably going tokeep the jerkiness up by calling her Mary throughout the show. She seemed concerned by it-"

Biff suddenly entered the room, cutting the interview short. "Tristan you were FABULOUS! Turn that camera off Mark, this is a business meeting!" Biff's charisma turned off with the camera and moved to a more business like tone.

"You were perfect. Those girls were falling for themselves for you! The point is to be a jerk, but wecan't have any of the girls turning on you so soon in the show! Make sure that you have enough charm and charisma to outweigh _all _of the jerkiness. Like that wink and gaze you gave Gilmore, Lorelia, her. Yeah, it confuses her enough and it'll keep the audience on ABC."

Ok?"

"We started airing thepreviews, justteaser shots of you and the women and the plot ideaand after we flashed just _you, _we went up in the polls." Biff cuffed Tristan's shoulder heartily. "Excited, mate?"

"What else is coming?"

"Oh simple stuff. You'll spend the day with all of them at a country club, you'll send some to the spa, take some golfing with you, take some swimming. You'll eliminate one girl in the spa group, one in golfing, and one in swimming. Then you'll take them all back here for dinner and we're stealing from "_Who Wants To Marry My Dad_" and you do something called a Martini every night. You'll pick one girl and take her out to the veranda for a chat and a martini."

"Sounds good."

"How did you like the girls?"

"They're all very nice."

"I must say that champagne bottle bit was priceless. We're probably going to get a whole ten second preview teaser out of that! Prime-time my man!"

Tristan let a little egotism slip into his pleased smile. "That sounds awesome."

"No kiddin!" Biff looked around the lavish apartment. "This is a big step from your Princeton dorm room is it not."

"Not impressed." Tristan smirked a little. "I'm from the big time."

"Right. You can visit a few of the ladies if you'd like. Intercom system right there." Biff jerked his finger to the phone.

"It's one in the morning!" Tristan protested.

"So?" Biff winked and pointed to the camera man "Roll 'em."

Tristan smiled slightly to the camera. "Wow, this jerk thing is kind of tough." He picked up the phone and looked at the list to all the different girls.

He dialed Mary.

* * *

Rory jerked out of her sleep at the shrill ringing of the phone. She snatched it up without opening her eyes. "Unless you have promises of coffee hang up!" She'd forgotten where she was. Only fate destined that the phone in this room was in the exact place as her Yale dorm. 

"Mary, mary, mary! Don't be so harsh!"

"Tristan?" She realized where she was and jerked around where a camera was already set up in her room. "Oh my gosh."

"Yes, I know. Lovely wake up call isn't it?"

Rory sighed and rolled over in her bed. "It's 1:30 in the morning."

"Perceptive, Beautiful."

"What is it?"

"Actually I'm just bored." She could almost imagine him shining his nails on his shirt, laying on the bed with a casual and annoying flop.

"Did you try _sleeping_? It'll knock you out for a good eight hours." She retorted

"I know a better way to knock me-" He began.

"Tristan you did _not _call me to-" Rory jumped in angrily.

She didn't get to finish though, because Tristan hung up with a dignified click.

* * *

Tristan rose with the sun, he was dressed by the wardrobe ladies who dressed him up in clothes his father would have worn in his early twenties. A tight, white long sleeve shirt with a V neck, slacks. His hair was gelled back and he selected a pair of expensive Oakley sunglasses. He snapped at himself in the mirror, faking the confidence he didn't have.

* * *

Though Rory had gotten her own room, she was sharing a bathroom with Janette, the stately swimsuit model next door. Rory brushed her hair and glanced nervously at the camera set up, watching her every move. Janette stood beside her, carefully applying lip liner and checking over her outfit. 

"We're going to a country club today, aren't you excited?" Janette inquired peppily.

"Yes." Rory lied politely.

"Hopefully I'll be in the swim group. I look great in a swimsuit."

"I don't want to be in the golf group." Rory said. _So I won't whack him with a golf club for waking me up and hanging up on me!_

"You don't golf?" Janette asked suspiciously.

"I'm good driving golf carts." Rory replied lightly, before breezing out of the bathroom.

* * *

Tristan sat in the golf cart, three other ones were parked behind. He pointed to the girls to fill them. Specifically choosing Rory in this group. He'd heard the stories of Rory visiting her grandfather. _This oughta be good._

"So who's riding with who?" Diane made a beeline to sit next to Tristan.

"Gilmore." Tristan jerked his head toward the seat next to him and looked at her pointedly.

She raised her head. "It's ok, I like being in the driver's seat." She moved toward the cart behind him.

"Aggression!" He smirked and jerked his head in a gesture back to his car. "You can drive Mary." He slid over into the passenger side

Rory walked, head high, and sat down next to him.

"Comfy?" He asked her with a smirk as everyone took their places in the other carts.

"Unlike you'll be." She muttered shortly, before slamming her foot onto the gas pedal.

* * *

**Shorter chappy I know. Thanks to all my reviewers! R/R please.**


	6. Don't Be Mad, Tris

**Happy Birthday Shout out to Poetic Angelica**

* * *

Rory threw her foot onto the break one last time before smiling sheeplishly at Tristan. Hereturned it withan amused glare. "If you weren't so hot Miss Rory Gilmore, I would have thrown you into the water trap after me." 

"Don't be mad Tris." She affected the sweetest voice she had, "I only did it so we could see you strip the shirt."

Tristan looked down ruefully at his soggy shirt. "I knew there had to be a master plan."

Rory threw off her facade and smirked to herself. She had done a quick hairpin turn, throwing Tristan into the water trap. She had sat there, surprised at herself for a) the plan working and b) she'd had the nerve the pull it off. She had watched him flounder in the shallow water of the pool and stare at her in amazement.

"You did that on purpose!" He had cried. It was half accusation and half sheer admiration.

"I did not." She had lied. "You just weren't holding on."

Rory smiled to herself.

Diane hurried out of her car over to their's. "Goodness Tristan, we certainly had an adventure with _that _spill." She bubbled.

"I like living on the edge, Diane." He winked and walked towards the country club.

"Wow." Diane looked wide-eyed at Rory. "You're a_ goner_ for that move."

Rory opened her mouth to express the fact she didn't care, and that being eliminated was her plan...but cut herself off.

She realized with a start that she didn't _want _to go.

Quickly she glanced at the camera hovering over them and wiped the puddle where Tristan had been sitting off the seat next to her. "I guess we'll have to see."

Rory jogged up the cobblestone path towards the mansion of a country club. Tristan had done golf first. How he'd spend a few hours at the spa woth group 2, and then the pool with group 3.

"Miss Gilmore, you're to change into your suit and go to the lower pool to wait for Tristan to finish." A man with an earpiece instructed.

Rory nodded slightly and moved to change into the two piece blue halter top that ABC had provided. They had refused to let her have a one piece._ We know what keeps men watching this show._

Rory's POV

I swam into the warmed over water of the pool. It wasn't like an almost slimy public pool warmed over, it was _expensive. _Everything about this place screamed the elite nature of Rory's past at Chilton or seeing Hartford. There was a bar at one end of the pool, a swim in bar. _Wow, that's rich. _Rory swam in and sat on the stools that were secured in the water.

It was a nice comfortable feeling, being half in the water, and leaning over the marble counter of a bar, being baked in the sun. Even the sun felt nicer here.

"What can I get you? You're with ABC right? It's on the house for you." The bartender was cleaning a tall glass.

"I just threw the lead guy into a water trap." I smiled a little.

"Does that mean you want liquor?" He grinned a little.

"Um, what can you make?"

"This is a country club, miss, I can make anything."

"Root beer float?"

"That'd be perfect." He reached into a small steel cooler for a tub of vanilla ice cream and put a generous amount into a tall expensive, fancy looking glass.

Iglanced over where the other girls had finally finished changing and were shimmying their way into the glassy water. Their revealing bikinis suddenly made me feel prudish instead of naked.

_I'm not even right for Tristan. I "accidently" threw him in thewater trapfor my own personal revenge, yet now I want to _stay

* * *

Tristan glanced uncertainly at the girls who were also getting massages. The golf, the pool, those were things guys and girls could do. But a spa group? _Please_. 

"Do you do this a lot?" Kristen, supported her face in her hands.

"I'm filthy rich. I got nothin' better to do." He replied simply.

"I ride horses, are you any good at that?" Janette asked.

"I'm good at just about anything expensive." Tristan shook some hair back.

"Polo?" Hannah asked suddenly.

"Yeah, I only watch that. Place bets." Tristan looked at the woman massaging his back. "Little lower please?"

"So what made you want to be on this show?" Kristen asked.

* * *

"Actually my mom signed me up." Rory admitted to Frenchie, who'd just asked her why she wanted to be on the show.

"Really?" Frenchie's huge blue eyes widened. "What do you think of Tristan."

"Oh-he's all right."

Rory lifted herself out of the hottub to get another drink from the bar.

* * *

**Short chappy**


	7. Makin' His Life Miserable

Tristan's POV

As I changed into my swim trunks I replayed the scene on the golf course. I can't believe she threw me in the water trap. THE WATER TRAP! what happened the innocent kid I'd messed around with back at Chilton? She _never _would have had the nerve to pull off a move like that. Then there was Grace, the girl he'd arranged to be in the swimming group. A four-alarm siren with a warm tan and blue eyes. She was really nice, he gave her that. _I wonder if she'll see through the jerk._

I shook my head slowly. I felt like I was in a movie. Me, the debonaire, suave lady's man being face with the "one that got away" but having to be the bad guy. Yes, it was like a grade B romance comedy...only _not much romance going on._

I walked towards the pool. Most of the girls were in the hot tub, some were laying out in the sun. Only Mary was in the cold pool. Her pale skin contrasted with the warm blue of her swimsuit. She chatted airily with the bar tender while sipping a Coke. She glanced up and saw me.

I sauntered over. "Always the loner, Mar?"

She blushed slightly and began reading one of the country club advertisement magazines that waslaying on the pool bar counter.

"Bet you never seen a swim in bar before." I said lazily, pushing my hair back and sliding on the underwater stool next to her, the water coming up to the second muscle of my toned six-pack.

She didn't respond, she simply flicked the page to the next set of pictures and descriptions of tennis courts.

"That's Mary Gilmore, book worm isn't she?" I egged her on.

Her eyes flashed. "Yes." She made her tone dry and flat. "That's me. I read magazines, catologues, books...the fine print on sugar packets."

Baited, I looked over at the bartender. "I'll have sex on the beach please."

"I knew you swung that way." She couldn't help but retailate as he started to mix the fruit drink.

"Ah, you're just jealous I didn't order from you." I grinned.

The other girls all swam up and ordered drinks while settling themselves down on the half-submerged stools that were bolted firmly in the shallow water.

"How was the spa Tristan?" Janet tittered, her bikini top dangerously close to falling...right...off. My attention was diverted for a second.

"Um. It was great." I blinked a few times and glanced where Rory, who had noticed, rolled her eyes and tugged the brown bubbling liquid up the straw.

"That was quite a spill you took." Grace's big blue eyes battered in practiced innocence. It wasn't as real as Mary's.

The music started and "Soak Up The Sun" started to play over the cabana speakers, setting everyone in a little more of an easier mood. Even Rory tilted her head slightly to the right, then the left, before glaring at me again.

"So, whatever are we doing tonight?" Diane asked.

"Oh, I rented the country club ballroom and we're going to dance. I _hope_ you guys know how."

They all nodded quickly, excited smiles creeping up the corner's of their lips. Rory's eyes widened slightly in nerves. _Doesn't she know I'll never cut her?_

**Rory's POV**

I glanced over where Tristan leaned against the tile counter and his stomach muscles were taut. He caught my glance and smirked slightly. His smirk is so _smug_. The way his lips curve ever so slightly in one corner, and the other twists to create an uppity look that's so...hot.

_Crud_.

I was careful not to look at him as he began chattering with the other girls. He may be hot, but that didn't make him any less a jerk. _I'm not here for love, but if I must be here the least I can do is make his life as embarassing as possible on national television._

There would be dancing tonight, and then another cut. After the cutting of five more girls, the real game would start. These initial twenty were going to be fast. The ABC people did say the show wouldn't be any longer than six or so episodes. It was a trial thing.

I had been surprised that they didn't have some twist to it. I mean, the bachlor was the original. All the other shows, _For Love or Money_, _Mr. Personality_, _Joe Millionaire_, _Average Joe_...those all had twists. This show wouldn't be much different than all the other ones.

I also wondered if there was something I wasn't being told. I mean, those other ones all had surprised. _Maybe Tristan lost his fortune somehow and they picked him up as a good looking bum. _I grinned brightly, _wouldn't that be classic?_

**Tristan's POV**

I glanced over at her. She was grinning. _Did someone say something funny? I didn't hear anything?_

I caught her gaze and knitted my brow with confusion. Her reponse was a cheshire cat grin.

* * *

**Short update, I'm sorry it took me so long. You can actually all thank ****Dashboardjen****for reminding me to update! If you R/R I'll have a longer update up in no time! winkers. Also, does anyone want to chat on AIM? just leave your screen name on a comment if you do.**


	8. Donk

Rory Gilmore watched herwater infracted leg cut through the water in an underwate sisscor kick as she listened to Tristan brag about all the great things that he'd done. He never mentioned Chilton though, starting his infamous career as a bad boy when he graduated from his military school.

"Wow, there's something so tempting about bad boys." Diane cooed, she tilted her eyes to become positively seductive. "I mean, I suppose you always wanted to play cops and robbers as the robber right?"

Rory couldn't believe she was in the _least _jealous...yet..._Diane totally doesn't deserve him she's such a tramp_...

Rory pulled the Coke through her straw and glanced uncertainly over at the bar tender who gave her a sympathetic smile. She smiled back and looked around uncertainly again. Her emotions were running hot and cold. At one point she wanted to get back at Tristan for everything starting with the first day of school and ending with making her kiss Paris...but it sounded so immature to even her. It was years ago. Somehow Rory Gilmore felt she only held onto the grudge because it was a tie_. A tie to what?_

Angry at herself she knocked her hand and gasped as the glass tipped and the Cola dropped into the pool. She looked to see if anyone saw.

"Wow...you're really clumsy today aren't you?" Grace smirked a little, mopping the coke with a napkin.

Tristan smirked widely. "Wow, they'll have to clean the _whole pool for that_." He hopped off the stool and submerged himself in the cool, refreshing water, then emerged with the empty glass. "Cleaning a country club pool is more than bag boy will _ever _make."

Rory's eyes flashed dangerously.

"Bag boy?" Diane demanded.

"A bag boy, like at a supermarket." Tristan covered smoothly, setting the glass with a neat click next to Rory. He gave her his cheekiest smirk.

_He brought up Dean! The lowlife had to bring Dean into this! _Rory nearly shook with rage. Dean and Tristan's paths had crossed more than once in her Chilton sophomore year.

She watched the water where the brown liquid swirled and mixed with the sparkling pool water till it vanished.

Megan, one of the other girls with sparkly green eyes and long red hair pulled back gave her a sympathetic smile. "Wow. That was a 'donk' moment."

"A donk...?"

"You know, when you play video games and power up and you hear 'ding', but if you do something stupid you hear a 'donk' noise?" She ordered another coke for Rory.

"Megan, I think my whole _life _is a donk moment."

* * *

Lorelai plopped on the couch and flipped on the TV. She blew an unruly strand of hair into place and flipped to ABC to watch her weekly show. She found a Mounds bar hidden elusivley in between the pillows on the couch and unwrapped it daintily. 

"Twenty-five women looking for love..." a throaty announcer voice panned twentyfive beautiful girls.

Lorelai gasped seeing Rory on TV. She pumped up the volume and reached for the phone.

"But they're not going to find it."

She dropped the phone. IT WAS SATAN!

The camera zoomed in on the back of a man who was about twenty five years old As it got closer to the guy in a light blue button down, black slacks and a perfect manly build she felt her throat constrict. _What is so familiar about that frame?_

He swiveled and winked at the camera. A sound effect of a ding was in time with the wink and the smirk was perfect. He gave a quick head jerk manuever and said "_Trot out_ the _ladies_."

The announcer continued as flashes of the twenty-five girls flashed on the screen. "Here they are."

"We picked the handsomest, richest, and most charming man we could find. Tristan DuGrey is also one of the politest and most gentlemanly." The screen flashed pictures of him donating a large check to Make-A-Wish foundation and playing with kids, riding a horse with an older man and working at a desk. But for these twenty-five beauties he is going to be the high profile full-of-it jerk that every girl insists they'll never fall for. But will they be able to see past the looks and money? If they can, they'll have unmasked..._The Jerk_."

The screen flashed once more to Tristan who smirked. "Unmask me."

Lorelai blinked as the next commercial came on. "Oohhh Lord."


	9. Change Up

Rory lay in her bed studing the cottage cheese looking ceiling. She was unsure what had transpired in the "dorm" hall outside. She glanced over at the camera that was set up less than subtly in the corner of her room. They producers had curtly told her she could change in the bathroom, they didn't want any of that on camera, but she could talk and explain her feelings to the camera by sitting in a chair marked with red tape.

Five more girls had been cut, leaving a grand total of five girls remaning. The cutting was slower in shows like the bachelor where the show dragged on for months, but because this show was new, they were testing out a small season before investing a lot of air time to it.

Rory had been surprised to make final five. What should couldn't decide was whether she was pleasently surprised or not. She was most surprised when the prettier girls were cut without a blink. She had been kept, Diane had been kept, Michelle had been kept, Clara had been kept, and Krystyl had been kept.

Mentally she surveyed the girls. Diane, a four-alarm siren. Michelle the leggy ballet dancer, Clara the smoldering latina dancer, Krystyl the swimsuit model with a clever wit, and...her. Rory couldn't figure out for the life of her where she belonged in this group. She was bad-postured book worm who got accepted into Yale and Harvard. Tristan knew this. He knew she would never...put out the way that the other girls did. She didn't look half as good in a bathing suits. Her warm white skin compared to their beach tans, her flat hair compared to their sensuously bodied tresses. Even the way they talked was much more enticing.

_And that's all that Tristan wants anyway!_

* * *

Tristan flopped on the bed and closed his eyes. He had a meeting with Biff before he could drift off the la-la land. Biff was taking his time ambling up the stairs. 

There was a knock.

"C'mon in Biff."

Biff entered with a bright grin. "It's going pretty good. I was surprised how well you can carry yourself as the jerk. I can only imagine you in high school!"

Tristan didn't reply.

"So, I talked to the producers and they decided that we have to spice up this show. See, Rory and Clara are already seeing the jerk-ness, we have to make them fall deeply and madly in love with you to keep up ratings."

Tristan rose an eyebrow. "I take it this won't be on camera."

"You'll take each off on an individual date and you will be yourself. Your sweet golden-boy self. Not a single fiber or jerkness must come out. You can kiss each good night if you see it fit. Then the next day the switch comes back!"

Tristan frowned slightly. "That's sort of cruel."

"Viewers will love it."

"That doesn't change much."

"So tomorrow is Krystyl, then Diane, then Rory, then Clara, then Michelle." Biff's grin broadened. "Do you have your eye on any of them? Diane right? Dude, not a man who watches this show won't want to take your place when you take Diane out."

"I like Mary."

"Mary?"

"Rory."

Biff frowned. "Why do you keep calling her Mary? Don't get her name wrong it confuses the audiences. Yeah, I was expecting you to cut her first round. I must say she's a favorite with the beta audiences. They like her spunk and the fact that she's already completely disgusted with you."

"Is she?"

"Yeah, her interviews are crazy." He grinned. "But you can't know that now can you? I guess she got a vibe from the moment she met you because she doesn't like you at all. Try and turn that around during the one on one date."

Tristan knitted his brows. "You overglorify my powers of seduction, I'm not that good."

Biff smirked a smirk Tristan recognized immidiatly. "You and I both know that's a lie."

* * *

Rory lay beside the pool. Without even thinking about it, Rory knew that she was trying to compete tan wise when she flopped next to the water and let the sun beat down on her. She looked over where Diane was listening to her Ipod and reading _Cosmo_. The inferiority was stifling. She felt like she was at a beauty pagent with Summer and Louise, bound to lose. 

Her skin was a glaring white. She knew it. It was her Mom's fault, _darn gene pool_. And her eyes were blue too, fair skin and blue eyes were a constant partner. It would have been fine if she'd been a blonde. Like Diane.

Krystyl was gone on her date. Tristan had this sweet smile when they'd left, but he'd turned and flashed her an amazingly sweet one. His clothes had been tasteful, but not his usual "damn-look-at-me-I'm-a-big-shot" richness.

_What does this two faced son-of-a-rich-man want now?_

* * *

**Short Chappie. R/R, after my AP testing week the first week of May I'll be updatin' like crazee. Review and remind me I _have _a story!**


	10. Statement One Love

**I know I wasn't going to update till May, but when I read all those reviews i HAD to get started again! Thank you all so much!**

* * *

Rory Gilmore stood in front of the mirror and checked again her outfit. They'd provided it for her, and she loved it on site, a white sundress, perfectly modest but still flattering.. They were going out for the day on "DUGREY X" Tristan's own Yacht. Shedidn't even want to _imagine _how inferior she'd feel the moment she stepped on deck, The whole date was against all Tristan policy. _For one, he's hardly a boat man, and for two, it's not ending in a hotel room._

The other girls had been practically swooning when they got back, but refused to say what had transpired, preferring to snigger at them through sugary smiles and paste on cheap laughs at their expense.

Rory smoothed the dress against her stomach, it lay flat and pristine in it's clean white-ness. _There's something about the color white that just screams "clean"_.

She took a deep breath and glanced where the cameraman hovered behind her, keeping the reflection of the obtrusive lens away from the mirror. "Ready." She told him.

* * *

I stood on the deck of the picturesque dock and gaped. The yacht was no boat, it wasn't even an glorfied TV version of a yacht. This thing was a mini_ cruise boat_. It had four stories, at least. _And it was their's for the whole day?_

"It's all ours." Tristan grinned. He was wearing a white T-shirt, and crisp jeans, and his matching whiteunbuttoned button down long sleeve flapped in the wind.He said it as if readingmy mind.

"You don't strike me as a boat person." I replied as haughtily as possible.

"It's not exactly a boat then, is it." His smile was a lot...friendlier than before.

"More like a floating hotel." I conceded.

"'Zactly!" He grinned childishly and duffed a quick bow. "Step aboard m'lady." He affected an English accent and slipped a hand lightly on the small of my back.

I walked up the gang-plank, glancing back to make sure he wasn't going to push me in the water or something. It would be so like him to try and get back at me.

He grinned a boyish smile. "What Rory, afraid I'll push you in?" The smile made mybreath catch for a small half second. It wasn't teasing, it wasn't seductive, it wasn't a demonair smile worthy of James Bond. It was contatgious, the kind of smile that made her want to smile back...so I did.

"You wouldn't dare."I challenged, an iota of high school wit coming back.

"Oh, I'll savor the delicious splash." He grinned taking a sudden step foward.

Girlishly jumping back, I blushed and "Not here!"

"Water too murky?" He brushed by onto thefront of the boartand yelled up to the captain. "All aboard who's comin' aboard!"

The boat began inching away from the dock and I jumped safely on as the gang plank splashed into the water.

I glanced quickly at the cameras swarming the deck and looked at Tristan.

"You gotta love this weather, huh? Breezy, balmy, not too salty."

The change of character annoyed me. Not only that...the way he described the day was perfect. _Since when did he know how to use an adjective that didn't describe a Friday night fling?_

"Congratulations, your vocabulary has now reached three adjectives in a row."

He tilted his head slightly to the side. "Why do you have to be so mean, Mar?"

"Rory!" I corrected. For a second I felt happy. Happy that I had an edge over those beautiful girls. _Even when I lose...I had him first. He asked me out before he'd met any of them._

"Why do you _insist _on calling me that!"

"Like the virgin Mary." He said. They both knew it. It was for the audience.

He grinned. "Wuddya want to drink?"

"Preferrably something that doesn't have a tendency to mix with sea sickness." I sat down on one of the deck chairs and he poured me a coke in a crystal champagne glass.

"Soooo." He flopped next to me with a beer bottle.

I glanced slightly over at him.

* * *

Lorelai leaned back in her chair and sighed, never taking her eyes off the TV. "Sookie, there is just something _so _James Dean about having a beer bottle don't you think? The brown glass ones." 

Sookie agreed heartily. "I am so with you! That man is absolutely adorable. And the sunset! With the hair in the wind, and that outfit, and those abs!"

"Shuddup." Luke snapped.

* * *

"So?" I looked over at Rory and smiled. "How about a game?" 

"A game?" She eyed me with innocent suspicion. I grinned. It was so nice not to have to spit out a witty comeback of a sarcastic and hot line of induendo.

"It's called Only Questions. Basically, we have a conversation, but we can only use questions. If you make a statement, you lose, or repeat a question, that's called a rhetoric, you lose. And first to win three 'rounds' gets a match point. And when I see you've made a statement I announce the score. Like if you messed up now I'd say "one-love", Love means zero. Or if I had one, then you won, it'd be one-all, it's all because we both have a point. The round starts when a question is asked."

She blinked. "So, how do you play?"

"By only asking questions."

"Statement, one-love!"

"You've played this before?"

"Do I look like I've played it before?"

"You didn't tell me you've played before, you cheater!"

"Statement, two-love!"

* * *

"Aha! She's killing him! I totally taught her this game!" Lorelai crowed happily. 

"He looks so hot with the beer bottle dangling between his fingers." Sookie sighed.

"What's with the beer bottle! I have one all the time and you're not drooling after me!" Luke snapped in his usual less-than-charismatic manner.

"Oy! You don't let the sunset refract through the neck of it!" Lorelai shot back.

"I don't have a sunset it my apartment!" He argued.

"Or a Yacht." Sookie reminded.

"What does that have to do with anything?" He cried.

"Why do you want to be hot?" Lorelai asked pointedly.

"Don't you have better things to do than consider beer bottles in the sunset a turn on?" Luke huffed.

"They are a turn on!" Lorelai protested.

"Ah, statement, one-love."

* * *

I eyed her testily and took another polite swig of my beer. "Elvis or James Brown?" 

"James Brown, hands down. But Elvis is hotter...Beatles or Jimmi Hendrix?"

"Beatles, by far. _You've Got Mail_ or _Sleepless in Seattle_?"

"Both have Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks. But _You've Got Mail _because it's cuter." She grinned and looked out to the sunset. "So, what have you been up to your whole life?"

"You want it all in one paragraph?"

"Do you have a lot to tell?"

"Do I look like I have a lot to tell?" He grinned.

"Do I look like I care?"

"Ah, rhetoric, one-love."

Rory grinned, more than thoroughly enjoying herself.

_Imagine if I could be myself all the time. I could have a chance..._I glanced over at the cameras around us and sighed a little to myself.

"So, you sail much?" She asked.

"Do you like the sea?"

"What?"

"Can't you hear me?"

"Do I look like I need a hearing aid?" She sipped her Coke. She's great at this game.

"Did your doctor ever recommend one?"

"What makes you think I've got a doctor?"

"Can't you afford insurance?"

"As a college student?" She grinned.

"You're a college student?"

"Haven't you been listening to me since we met?"

"Did I look like I was listening?"

"Rhetoric! One-all!" She glanced over the clear blue water and grinned wider. "I haven't had this much fun on a date ina while."

"Don't like dates?"

"I just haven't been on them in a while."

"Ah, statement, two-one."

She sighed lazily. "Tell me about military school."

"It was hard."

"How so?"

"Ever seen "G.I. Jane?"

"The one with Demi Moore?"

"Do you like Demi Moore?"I smiled.

"Doesn't she like Ashton?"

"Do you like Ashton?"

"Rhetoric. two-all."

"Do you want to be kissed?"I asked her suddenly without thinking.

She started. "What?"

"Would you enjoy the action of a kiss?"I carefully rephrased so I wasn't rhetoric, but watched her reaction carefully.

"Did I look like I was thinking about it?"

"Do you think I was reading you?"

"Do you want more Coke?" She turned towards the ice chest between their deck chairs.

"Wouldn't I rather have a beer?"

"Would I know which you'd want?"

"Did you answer my question?"

"Which question?"

"Didn't I ask a question about being kissed?"

"Did you?"

"Didn't you hear me?"

"Do you think I was listening?" Rory's eyes were searching my face.

"Were you?"

"Rhetoric." She whispered shakily."Three-one...I win."

I smiled and took a sip of my beer.

* * *

"He's so ha-a-andsome." Miss Patty burst in the door. "I ran here during commercials so I wouldn't miss anything!" 

Luke gave her a grudged look. "You're watching too huh?"

"You don't think you can lasso Miss Patty into this game do you?" Lorelai smirked at Luke.

"I was asking her a question!"

"Statement. One-love." She grinned coyly and laughed.

* * *

**A/N: It's longer! Hopefully you guys will like this chapter. You can thank Season 4.5 (one of my favorite writers on this site) for inspiring me with her WONDERFUL story and you awesome reviewers! It may not be perfect in language, so bear with it. Read and Review, it's what keeps me going!**

**I want to especially thank people who give me their gentle critiques on how I can improve my characters, or ideas on what else they think should happen. I know that technically it's months between filmy a show before it's on the air, but I think I like having the Stars Hollow reactions in the story. Tell me what you think of that.**

**My friend said it would be fun if the reviewers to go "vote" the girls off the show. Wuddya guys think of that?**

**You're awesome,**

**Thought's Pen**


	11. Are You Drunk Do I Look Drunk?

I glanced over the sea. I thought it would be wavy, frothy water like the postcards...but actually it reminded me of black carpet sprawled out in every direction. It was calm anddark and still. It was dusk now, the water had gone from marine blue to black as the sky turned light purple.

The candle light from the table refracted through the fawn color of his champagne. It was such a TV worthy moment, I didn't even want to _think _how much this had to be costing ABC.

"So, why are you here?" He broke the vast, empty silence.

"Truce?"

"Game over." He agreed amiably. "But I was winning."

I just gave him an amused smile, since I was up by at least eleven points. "Well, I guess my mom can get anyone to do anything, no matter how insane it is."

* * *

"Darn right I can." Lorelai elbowed Luke. "Didja hear that?" 

Luke grumbled a reply.

"Hey Luke-y, up for sky diving tomorrow?"

"You're not _that _good Lorelai."

"Sez you."

* * *

"And you?" Rory asked, looking at me with her intense eyes. They look so innocent from far away, but when the fasten themselves on you with a question they suddenly harden. 

"A favor to a friend. The show is important to him, he works for ABC."I sipped his drink. "It wasn't a horrible offer, can't say I don't love seeing myself on TV."

"Worried about crazy stalkers?" She cocked her head to the side and smiled.

"High school where I went was bad enough. Trust me."

I raked my hands through my hair, I still love how it's long. The few years of a flat top in military school were the worst years of my life. My hair is part of me, despite the fact it never lies still. It was like chopping off an arm when it was shorn heartlessly.

"Your hair is your prop isn't it?"

I blinked and looked at her blankly. "I do not have _props_."

"Liar. It's like your wingman. You can't stand the idea of approaching girls with other guys, you're a one man show."

"Wanna buy ticket?" I wiggled my eyebrows, but then regretted it as soon as it came back. I had become so comfortable I forgot what I was saying.

I was surprised when she laughed. "I doubt I could afford a ticket."

* * *

I normally would have been taken aback. _We're out of high school, I'm above that_. And the way he said it was no longer suggestive, it was in plain fun...just like this date. 

"So Mr. DuGrey, time is up, we'll be heading back to the marina now, sir." The butler set down a freshbottle of wine.

I looked at the empty bottle, surprised. "Tristan, did we drink a whole bottle between the two of us?"

"You only had two glasses." He laughed.

"Are you drunk?"

"Do I act drunk?"

"Is that what I asked?" I demanded.

"No, I'm not drunk. I've learned to hold my liquor."

"Good, I can't bring you home drunk."

"We're grown up Mar, we're above that."

* * *

"No, they're not." Luke grumbled. 

"Grow up, tea-bag." Lorelai grinned.

"Look at that boat, could you imagine how wonderful it must be?" Sookie sighed. "I want to go on a _cruise_."

"Me too! Oh, Sookie! Let's do that!"

"Yeah, we can bring everyone!" Sookie sighed and fell back on her cusion. "Luke do you want to come."

"Who would watch the shop?"

"No one will come, we'll bring the whole town." Sookie threw her popcorn in the air witha sigh of utter bliss.

"Great, a floating Stars Hollow."

* * *

Tristan tilted his head up. "Can't see stars like this in the city." 

"That's O'Rion's belt." I pointed at the three bright aligned stars.

"Mmm...that would make _that_..." Tristan tried to pretend he knew anything about astronomy.

"Yeah, that's gullibus major right?" I pointed to a random bunch, "next to brain-less minor?"

"Um, yes." He paused, then shot me a look. "Ha. ha. ha."

I grinned. "My mom used to fall for it longer.

* * *

"I most certainly did NOT!" Lorelai protested

* * *

"Sooo."I poured myself another large tumbler of wine. "Tell me, did you have fun tonight?" 

She watched me as I drained the glass effortlessly. "I actually did, surprisingly."

"Surprisingly?"My grin grew.

"Well, you've been kind of full of yourself since I met you."

"Really?"

"Mm-Hmm."

"Full of myself?" _If she calls me a jerk she wins...if she calls me a jerk, she wins. Say it Mar, tell me I'm a jerk. Then I can call you and askyou out the second cameras are off us...call me a jerk, win Mar, say it._

"Well, I could probably think of more colorful adjectives."

"Really?"

"I wouldn't want to be impolite."

_Say it Mary, say it. Be mean and tell me I'm a jerk. I know I am, tell me I'm a jerk and... _"No I guess not."

I felt my eyes drift sightly out of focus and I knew that in a few more sips I'd be semi-drunk. I set the tumbler down. _I want to win, I want to outsmart her and I want all my work buddies to be praising my name when I get home. _I glanced over where she was sipping her drink. _Figure it out Mary, figure it out_.

* * *

I watched him from the reflection of my drink and I knew that he was thinking hard...it was almost as if he was trying to telepathically tell me something. 

I looked over at the shore where the Marina was hoverng into view. The lights reflected off the glassy white boat and bouncing onto the water, illuminating how murky it was. _Ah, the irony_.

The cameras began taking their last shots of the water, some of them shut off because unless something fascinating happened in the next few minutes nothing till they got back to the house would probably make the actual show.

"Hey DuGrey." I stood up, my hair flapped in the wind around me. I imagine on TV it would make me look somewhat attractive, the folds of my white dress waving in the bay winds, but I was cold. "This was kind of fun, wasn't it?"

"Why yes Miss Gilmore." He doffed a bow. "I believe it was quite an experience."

I grinned and sighed. "So Mr. DuGrey, this our stop?"

"Guess it has to be." He picked up the remainder of the bottle and I was surprised to see it near empty. "Do you dare me to chug it?"

"Do I need to?"

"Was that the question?"

"Are you drunk?"

"Do I look drunk?"

"Does that answer what I asked?"

"So you care if I'm drunk?"

"Do I look like I want you to make a fool of yourself on TV?" I responded firmly.

"I won't make a fool of myself."

"Statement, one..."

"Love." He cut me off.

I missed a beat, unsure how to respond or how I'd been adressed. "Yes, one-love."

* * *

**Because I was thrilled when I realized I'd gotten 50 reviews for the last chapter I shall update before my AP testing. If I fail it, I blame this website:)**

**R/R**


	12. One Big Cliche

"So, you had a good time then. I'm glad." We both stood outside my room door. Everyone else was alseep, the hall was dimly lit and an obnoxious camera was zooming in and out around us.

She nodded childishly. "Fantastic."

"Good..." I looked down. The other girls had kissed me without a qualm, I didn't even have to make a comment or move. They had all been good kissers, especially Diane, hers was firey and suggestive.

"Night!" She had opened the door, slid in, and shut it, before I could respond. _I bet her mom taught her that_.

* * *

"I taught her that." Lorelai informed the room.

* * *

I studied the wood grain on the closed door in front of me. I imagined if this was a sitcom TV show it'd be a split shot of both of us staring at the door with pensive looks. _But it's not a _sitcom _TV show and she's probably not lookinag at the door like I am._

I glanced at the camera. _I'm so pathetic, what'll I say when the guys see this?_

I shoved my hands in my pockets and walked towards my room. _If I make it the whole way and no girl calls me a jerk, even though I act like an absolute complete jerk I get a million dollars._

I'm rich, but that number still registered as important. Despite Hartford logic, the DuGrey money onmy Tristan side was hard earned. I didn't take anything from dad, and he never offered me apillow after military school. I'd proved my worth and I wasn't going to ruin it.

_A million dollars would be nice_.

But if any girl called me a jerk to my face...specifically told me "You're a jerk!", the studio would tell her the truth and she'd win a million. A cool million. Then the game would end and emotional pieces of shattered heartswould litter the studio lobby.

I shifted uncomfortably. It was a short show, only five or six episodes. If it went off really well they'd do another spin off the show...like _Love or Money _or _Joe Millionaire_. Giant hoaxs...the public loves 'em.

"But if I win, or if I lose...Rory..." I kicked the carpet a little. I glanced at the camera man.

"Speak up, if we can't hear you it's hard to put on film dude." He informed me.

I gave him a sarcastic grimace. "Thanks."

"Just doin' my job man, if you fall in love with the doll or not it's gotta be on camera."

I bit back a snide comment and went into my room.

* * *

I made sure that I didn't look at the door when it closed behind me. I went strait to my bed and buried my face into the pillow. That was, by far, the best date I'd ever been on. 

The breeze, the food, the questions-only game, the YACHT, but most importantly...the company. Tristan had done a complete 1-80 on me, I'd never seen him so casually charming.

It wasn't suave, it wasn't debonaire. He was airy and natural and so easy to converse with. Everything he did was so easy, it came off...like it _should _have been fake compared to his usual character, but it wasn't. The worst part of it all was how cliched this entire situation was. Dean, he was easy, the "new guy at school" who had a job at the local grocer. Jess, the nephew of his mom's best friend.

It bothered me. This show was what it said it was, a show. It was clever entertainment for the masses and girls somehow believed that they could fall in love on it. They thought that in the space of a few weeks a randomly chosen guy could turn out to be the man of their dreams!

And even worse, the show was going to have some sort of twist. No TV audience is satisfied with a plain bachlor like show now, they want it all, they want every twist and every wrong thing to happen. _The sick mind of the typical American._

I glared, there was no one in the room, but I felt like I was glaring at ABC. And maybe even at Mom, I could completely imagine her face watching this. She probably already _knew _the twist too, she probably already knew what giant hoax I was bound to figure out later.

The phone rang and I picked it up. "What?"

"Where?" It was Tristan.

"Why are you calling?"

"Is this Mary?"

"Will you stop calling me that?"

"Did you give me a chance to say good night?"

"Are the words what you meant?" I snapped back, a childish grin.

"Are you being _suggestive _Gilmore?"

"No!"

"Statement. One-love." He hung up.

* * *

After Rory slipped into her room it flashed to a commericial. Lorelai leaned back as the commentator, Biff, promised scenes from the next episode. "I wonder if he's going to call her or something." Sookie ventured. 

"I doubt it, the full of himself freak." Luke growled, standing and drinking the last draught of his beer.

"Yeah, the whole point of the show is to prove to his poker buddies he's seductive." Miss Patty sighed. "Well, back to the studio with me."

"Oh yeah, one more thing," Lorelai grinned. "Rory is resisting!" She stuck her tongue at them all and waltzed out of the room.

* * *

**There it is folks, another cliched chapter, drop me a line...CUZ AP TESTING IS OOOOVVVEERRR!**


	13. You're A Jerk!

I woke slowly. Sunlight streamed through the window. My hair fanned out over the pillow in a way I'd never been able to make it do before. My hair smelt perfumed from the beach yesterday. My body sunk into the bed, as the salt air always makes me so tired. And if I hadn't been sleepy enough, I couldn't sleep because of yesterday.

I couldn't understand the 180 of a turn that had happened last night. The image of his smarmy smirk and punk wink had been replaced by the perfect gentleman. He had been charming, king, disarming...politely flirtatious and clever.

"What's wrong with me?"

Ilooked at the camera carefully positioned in the room. "How can I like this guy?"I asked it curtly.

The phone rang. I answered it to hear the calm intructions from the camera lady that breakfast was going to be served soon. There was one more "date" before Tristan was going to eliminate two more girls.

* * *

I woke quickly. I'm definitely not a morning person, but I was excited to wake up. I was excited to prove that I'm alive, alive enough to talk to Rory...Mary...Lorelai...the gorgeous girl who had spoken drowsily to me last night when I called her. I'd been so close to calling her again. 

I had a date with one of the girls today. I didn't know which, nor did I care, I already decided who was going to win. Rory. What man, in their right mind, would ever pick another girl? Not just their right mind, their freakin' any mind, any guy WITHOUT a mind would choose Rory!

* * *

**The Next Morning:**

"Well, how does it feel to have four girls madly in love with you?" Biff smiled at me.

I'd begun to hate his smile. It was so plastic, fake, "made for TV". He checked his hair in the mirror, cocking his eyebrow in the "seductive" look he always gives the camera before the introduction bit he gives at the begninning of every show. It makes him look constipated, or an elvis impersonator, or a James Bond wannabe.

"Well, these eliminations are actually getting easier. I can't stand three of the girls."

Biff shot me an alarmed glance. "You're kidding right? It's supposed to be the other way around. They're supposed to hate you. You should probably cut Rory next."

"Rory? She's the only one here that I _like_."

"Look Man, first off, you aren't gonna get _anything _out of this chick. Secondly, you're not supposed to find "love" on this show." He made quotation marks with his fingers as he said love. "You're the jerk, the player."

"I'm not a player in real life."

"No sob story, please. The only heart stringer, tear jerker moments are going to be when the girls furiously throw punch at you or something and run off screaming 'i hate you', and your devestated face because you're ever the nice guy. Other than that, nothing really."

"That's not what I signed up for."

He shrugged. "Go gettum' tiger." He waltzed out of the room.

* * *

I slipped into the cool silky dress I'd been provided. Tristan was going to eliminate one of us and then take the other three dancing. The shocking point of this whole thing was that I didn't want to be eliminated. I stroked my hair gently.

"WWMD?" I said aloud. I turned to the camera and smiled slightly. "What would mom do?"

* * *

"OH! OH!" Lorelai shouldered Luke estatically. "She mentioned me! I'm going to be FAMOUS!"

Luke smirked grudgedly. "Mom? Yeah, the FBI could track down that name. When someone says that at Disneyland every woman over thirty turns around!"

Lorelai affected a puckered pout and folded her arms."You're mean Luke."

He dragged his arm over the couch for Lorelai's coffee and handed it to her.

"Jaaayyyy-Kayyyy." She giggled.

* * *

Tristan stood in front of the five girls. He pretended to be tersly considering his decision despite the fact that it didn't matter in the slightest to him. _Eeine-Meeny-Miney-Moe _That's how little the choice meant to him.

"Have you come to your decision?" Biff walked by him, shooting him a meaningful look that he translated quickly. Tristan changed his posture from his upright, sincere stance, to a quick "look at _me _ladies" playboy slouch.

"Well, I know all five of you are dying to bed me and everything, but one of you isn't going to be lucky." He gazed strait at Michelle. "Baby, I'm afraid you're just gonna kiss my picture at night."

As soon as he finished the pre-scripted lines, his eyes rivited to Rory. Her eyebrows were knitted in slight confusion. Diane, Krystal and Clara beamed. They didn't even seem to hear the cruel and pompus way Tristan had just dismissed Michelle. But Rory heard it, and saw it.

"And Clara, I'm afraid you'll be joining her. They say that hell is bad not because it's a horrible place, but because it's the absense of God." He winked. "Well, your life will be hell because you life will nowhave theabsense of me!"

* * *

I felt like I had been punched in the stomach. The great, fun guy was standing her comparing himself to _God_! He was acting like a diety. He was just...AUGH!

_And I almost fell for it too! I dreamed about him! I woke up thinking about him! _That's all it took him! One day of being nice and I had thought of him so softly.

"So." He was saying airly. "Can I take you three dancing?"

* * *

I looked over Diane, Krystal, and Rory. "Ready then?"

"No." Mary said it simply. She shook her head at me. "You're a jerk." And she walked out of the room.

* * *

**Hey guys. I know, I haven't updated in...pretty much forever! I'm sorry. A bunch of things in my life started going haywire, hopefully you guys will all review and give me the motivation to write some more!**


	14. Match, I win

**Hey everyone, Thanx for all the reviews, they really mean a lot to me. So...shall we continue?**

* * *

I looked at Biff who looked equally surprised. But his surprise, was different than the spellbound shock that registered on the faces of the other girls. They couldn't believe she'd walked out on a place to the final three. They were staring at each other, at her, at me, at the cameras. Diane's face lit up with awful pleasure. 

"Can I have her place?" Clara demanded.

I waited for Biff to explode in a declaration of "You've WON!" But he looked to surprise.

I glanced at the camera man, I glanced at the producer behind the camera. She stood there in surprise, her pitiful earpiece buzzing loudly with instructions.

"_Somebody _move!" I cried.

But everyone seemed surprised. I could practically see smoke coming out of Biff's ears, his tiny, peanut-sized mind was working overtime. The production team had too obviously not thought that anyone would actually call me a jerk. They all expected that the million dollars was just a gimmick that was provided for the TV audiences. They had expected a grand hoax.

So I moved. And I moved quickly.

"Mary!" I ran after her.

* * *

How could any of the other girls fall for this crap? Could they really look at his handsome face, and the perfect chiseled feature blotted out the fact that his face was marred with the biggest, ugliest, smarmiest smirk I'd ever seen in my life? He was so full of it! He was on TV, proving to the world he could seduce any woman. 

_And he can too_.

I couldn't believe that I'd fallen for him. I couldn't believe he had made me blush in something other than rage. I couldn't believe that I'd spent the day with him and liked him. _I was so right, he hasn't changed the slightest since high school. It's Peter Pan. _I choked down a raged cry. _Peter Pan, the half-naked playboy who refuses to grow up_.

"Mary!"

_He is _not! _Oh my god...he is_.

He was chasing after me.

I ran. I ran out of the room. I ran out of the door, I ran past the security guards, the cameras, the trailers, and all the equipment set up in the yard.

Surprised cameramen aimed their lenses at me, running after me.

I ran, and I could hear the parade after me. I could hear the string of producers, executives, security guards, and cameras. But for some reason, I could hear Tristan's steps the loudest. They echoed. Like his voice.

"Mary!"

I kept running, I ran out the gates that the contestants are forbidden to run past and there I froze. I looked at what was in front of me and just...froze.

* * *

I watched her stop, dead in her tracks. Her back was to me, but I could almost see her eyes widening in betrayed surprise. 

She was standing in front of the TV van. The van was white save for the advertisement plastered over the side.

"THE JERK!" It proclaimed. My face was plastered there, my trademark smirk so firmly in place.

In elegant script, underneath was written "We took a great guy and turned him playboy...are girls too shallow to notice?"

Her shoulders were stiff, her knees were locked. She was silent, the only noise was the buzz of the earpieces behind me insisting that this was the best ending they could have ever scripted for the show. This was the perfect way for her to find out. Did anyone have the check? Was she ok? Was Tristan there? Get the other girls ready for their confessional shots. The studio was going to love this. The audience was going to love this. Wasn't it perfect? Their ratings were going to go through the roof!

"Miss Gilmore, Miss Gilmore." Biff checked his hair quickly before running into the camera sight. "Miss Gilmore! You've won!"

She didn't turn. I could sense her decyphering what was going on.

"Rory, this show is ahoax! We wanted to see if girls would fall for guys, even if they're jerks! You know, Tristan's really a great guy! He's only been acting like a jerk! You'vejust won_a million dollars_!"

Rory turned around and I was shocked to see her eyes were watering.

She blinked stubbornly, refusing to shed a tear. "You didn't need a SHOW!" She cried.

Everyonefroze, surprised by the soft-spoken girl's tone.

"You needed a SHOW? You needed a SHOW to prove to you that stupid, arrogant, playboys dupe girls? Go to a freakin' bar, gentleman! Go to any high school in the world and you will see decent, hardworking girls with the stars in their eyes get pulled over by jerks every day! EVERY day!" She shook her head in disgust.

"Mary! I'm not like that!" I stepped forward. "I've changed since-"

She winced slightly and I remembered no one knew we'd met before.

"I've changed since...since ever. I don't want to be a jerk." The words tumbled out, trampling on top of each other. "Don't you see, Mar? I've given up on that stuff! I haven't done the whole bed-post notch! I changed!"

She shook her head. "If you changed, why are you on a god forsaken TV show?"

"My friend put me up to it Mary! If I'd known that I would have to lie to you. If I'd know I was going to see you I wouldn't have signed up! I...I ...I would have just watched you on TV like the rest of the world and wished I could be in your presense!"

Her lips curled back, disgusted. "You. Are. Pathetic! Don't you get it Tristan?"

* * *

"No!" He yelled back. "Don't YOU get it?" 

I frowned.

"I'm not the jerk that I used to be. I was acting! That day, where I didn't act like a jerk, where I got to act like myself meant everything to me! It was the one time, that I would ever get to be with you, and be able to smile, andand mean it. When Igot to joke with you, and laugh with you without my ego getting in the way. Where I got tosay stupid things, and playQuestionsOnly!To be able to say lines that weren't..._prescripted_! Don't you understand?"

I watched him and I felt my anger fade. He wasn't kidding. He had changed. He was on TV show, that's why he'd been a jerk.

My pride flared again. Why had he tricked me like this? There was this sudden desperation. I liked him! I liked him and I didn't know why! I felt like stamping my foot, and putting my hands on my hips and screaming! "Tristan DuGrey, you're...you're..incourigible!"

He grinned so brightly. "Two-love." **(A/N: He got a point on the phone of the last chapter as well)**

All I could do was cover the choking laughter by looking down.

"Rory Gilmore, I'm in love with you!"

* * *

The cameras zoomed in and out, enjoying every moment. They buzzed around, getting every angle. 

"You what?" She asked, stunned. The laughter was gone. And so was mine. I hurried to her.

"I've been in love with you. You're in my dreams, you're in my thoughts. How could I eliminate you from a show, even when I have to be the jerk? I couldn't. I'd rather have you hate me, but be around me, than think I'm anything else and only watch me from behind a TV screen. I'm crazy about you!"

She ran at me.

_Dear God, she's gonna kill me..._

She threw herself in my arms and wrapped me in the warmest kiss I'd ever felt.

I suddenly wasn't aware of the cameras, of Biff, of the buzzing ear pieces.

Just Rory Gilmore.

Mary.

She drew back, her eyes sparkling. "I think you just want my million dollars." She whispered softly.

"I think you're worth a little more than that, don't you?" I whispered back.

She smiled. "Maybe."

I kissed her gently. "Three-love. Match...I win."

* * *

**Ta-da. I know, some people might think the ending was slightly rushed, but I got some reviews saying it was dragging on. I'll probably start a new FF later. I like"Dealin' With It" way, waybetter than "The Jerk", so if anyone would like to give me some feedback on the comparison, I'd love to hear from you.**

**Thank you guys for being so faithful in reading, it's meant a lot to me!**

**-Thought's Pen**

**p.s. I WANT THE AP TEST SCORES, NOW! ads;lfakj;sdlkfa;ldskfa;lsfk :)**


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